I'm still sorting out what our reality is, but I am trying to make peace with what it is not. We aren't a whole and functioning family. There's Calliope over here, and we can't disturb her or make demands on her time or ask her to participate in the family without a high risk of her yelling/screaming/tantruming. Over here we have the little kids; Cooper is very physical and takes lots of supervision, Clio is a new walker and wants to love everyone. I would love to bring them all together to do family stuff, but, if it works, it's only for a short moment.
The last outing for the whole family I remember was just to a hardware store and lunch after, and the nasty words coming from Calliope just bring me down, wear me out, drain my energy and emotion. Of course there were moments where the kids were all doing their thing and being fine, just moments. But it isn't anything like what I expect from MY kids.
Mothers are promised that if we bring up our children with love, patience, and kind words, they will grow into loving, patient, and kind people. That is what Calliope should have grown into. I did the work, and I've been denied my reward. Where is my loving child?
So, I'm lowering expectations. Instead of love and hugs and kisses, and girl time, I'll take no hitting, no name calling, no screaming, and no property damage.