Saturday, October 29, 2011

School Dance for Calliope

Our 1988 beauty queen was called drama queen and totally went with it. She decided that drama queen was funny and took the name on. So, drama queen went to the dance after school.
It was lots of driving for me, but it ended up being worth it. Picked her up from school, came home for an hour, back to school, back home for an hour, off to school to pick her up.
She said it was dark but fun.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Another new therapist, maybe

The therapist currently assigned to Calliope wanted to see her and me, one hour a week, in her office. The previous arrangement was a therapy team made up of a therapist and a behaviorist working on the same treatment plan a few hours twice a week with in home behavior supports for the dinner through bedtime period that could get violent. So… the change was very disappointing, but I was willing to work the system and wait for things to be added on until the level of treatment was close to Calliope's level of need.

But, I wasn't sure things would build after the therapist told me that therapy won't work, and I need to medicate her. Well, she's on one medication, and that was a tough decision to make. But we did find one medication that curbed her violent impulses and have stayed with that one medicine. I'm not comfortable with adding more, and I'm not at all comfortable with a therapist that sees no hope, no reason to put effort into my child's mental health.

I put in a call to the patient's rights person and got some good information. I called to ask for emergency in home support and a new therapist for Calliope.

It's been a week, and I haven't heard about anything moving forward. Maybe I get to waste more time on the phone.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Calliope at her IEP meeting

I had invited Calliope to the IEP because she wants to be in control and thinks these meetings are people talking bad about her. I explain that the grown up are trying to figure out what she needs and how we can help her learn. Her idea of school success is very different than mine. Calliope needed to tell the IEP team what she was thinking.
One suggestion was a different class at the far end of the same campus, Opportunity School. Calliope was concerned about missing art and the social times like lunch on the main campus.
She craves social interaction but doesn't have the skills to understand people and build a friendship. I can't be sure there is a way to teach culture to her.
Free and appropriate education is a tall order for Miss Calliope Joy.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Time suck, money suck

Calliope has an appointment with her mental health therapist today. The therapist that thinks therapy won't work. Anyhow, I've got to find and pay a babysitter for the three other kids for the time I'm with Calliope at her appointment. Naps will be disturbed. Playtime will be missed. Dinner will be late. It's the first of three appointments this week; all for this one child.
The rest of the family gives us so much trying to manage this one high needs kids, but that might be another post.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Back to School

My poor neglected blog needs updating, so here I sit nursing at keyboard.

Calliope came back from her extended visit with grandparents right before we moved in June. Overall she's happy about the new house, bigger room, bigger closet, and the tv she got for her birthday. We had some summer fun at the beach with visiting family and little day trips around our county. But Calliope chose to sleep through much of it. It was the usual manipulation tactics to get us to wait for her to wake up before we took off to have fun. But I wasn't interested in waiting for the hottest part of the day to start an outing just so we could take a grumpy girl with us. So she missed out on lots of fun. Not that she would have had fun, but there would have been the opportunity.

Back to school time comes, and the anxiety is heavy. She wants everything, and she wants it right now. Our back to school budget was stretched a bit with two kids getting school clothes and supplies, so she did have to wait on some things. But, she was happy with her new book bag, yarn and buttons to make a hat and scarf all matchy, and she did make the best of it in the end.

Since the move, we have had some violence. The police were called by a neighbor after one screamy tantrum. What a crappy way to meet the new neighbors. And I've had to call the police twice because she was attacking me (and the little girls I happened to be holding). Two door handles have been broken, one door, one door frame, but there are no holes in the walls. That's a good thing.

The things that she has a tantrum about are silly and don't make any sense. The one that broke the door handle, door, and door frame was all about going out to get super glue to fix her glasses that were broken in PE at school. She's not even supposed to be wearing them out for PE. LAME! So, I told her that when dad gets home from work, we can go out to get the glue. She tantrummed and demanded that we get the glue, but she didn't change the answer to her demand. She still had to wait until dad got home for me to take her to the store. Yes, she still got her needs met. She fixed her glasses, so they'd be okay for a couple weeks until the new ones came in.

It's hard to explain to others how it works. Yes, with normal kids there are consequences, but that doesn't work for Calliope. Her thinking is so far off that all she knows is what she wants, who can get it for her, and she can use dozens of manipulative tricks to get what she wants. There is no guilt or shame for her behavior or the things she breaks while tantrumming. She believes it is someone else that holds responsibility for making her mad. It's so dumb, but she really believes someone else made the bad things happen.

This weekend was mostly spent in bed because she was sick. But, she was able to eat Sunday night and felt better Monday (a school holiday). Today she went to school with minimal complaining. Any other kid would know that they were late getting into the car, so they'd be late to school. But Calliope doesn't see it. She got in the car late, but her getting to school late (still well before the bell, but later than she likes) was my fault because I didn't drop Cooper off fast enough, didn't drive fast enough, waited for a break in traffic before turning, waited for kids in a crosswalk, or was lazy and didn't wake her up early enough.

How funny is that!? She calls me lazy when I don't do the things she needs to do for herself. Ha ha ha!