a visit from Oma

I'm having incredible physical difficulty with this pregnancy, so I'm not running the house as I would like. Calliope gets worse every week, so running the house at all is more difficult than it should be. Stress and worry keep me from taking care of myself as I know I should. I can't get out for a walk to improve my mood or even just to take the kiddos to the park. My whole life is a runaway train, and I'm along for the ride and inevitable train wreck. I have no control and am powerless to change things.

My husband wants to help, but he just doesn't do much. Dishes, laundry, house cleaning; they all wait until Chris wants to do them, so we run out of everything on a regular basis, and cleaning doesn't usually happen. I know he wants to help, but he won't let me tell him what to do that is helpful. So, he's arranged for his mom to come help.

Over thanksgiving his parents were here, and I was very disappointed to watch her sit in the backyard and play solitaire on her blackberry while I tried to play with the kids. She sat on the couch while I worked in the kitchen or helped Chris with laundry or sat on a kitchen chair. She is just as clueless as he is.

She'll be here today to stay with us for I don't know how many days. I expect to have to entertain her, cook for her, clean up after her, and keep the kids from disturbing her while she plays on her blackberry. So, I am not feeling great about the visit from the 'help Christa with the little kids' angle.

Then there is the terribly embarrassing situation with Calliope. I really don't want to have MIL feeding the beast. Calliope feeds off attention and will keep going as long as anyone will talk with her. My MIL doesn't seem to get this, even after being told several times, several ways. The MIL will go around and around on whatever subject Calliope chooses for however long Calliope wants, letting her perseverate and get more and more upset all the time. We've got her bullshit calendar on the wall, her behavior expectations, the chart with money paid for each chunk of the day, and all the info and phone numbers of the people working with us on her. This is NOT normal and will have to be explained to her at least once. The consequence for Calliope's record length tantrum on Sunday morning was me taking her clothes (I give her things to wear daily-my choice). The consequence for her record sized hole in the wall on Sunday night was completely stripping her room. These things will also have to be explained.

If mental health professionals don't understand the problem or know what to do, my mother in law has no chance of understanding. She's on her way, and it's going to add another layer of stress and worry to my load.