Monday, February 22, 2010

Triggers for tantrums

I almost hate to have good days because I know what's coming when the fun ends.


Saturday was a fun day for all of us; daddy was home, my parents visiting. I was sick and stayed home, but everyone else went to the farmer's market and park for the morning. It's the sort of thing Calliope loves because grandma will listen to every word she has to say about every vendor while grandpa and dad take the little kids to the park to play. After lunch at our house, Calliope went to the trailer at the campground with grandma and grandpa.

The break from Calliope's constant stream of insults, complaining, arguing, questions, threats, bargains, negotiations, and general garbage was lovely! Chris and I got to enjoy our time together while little kids were in bed without the worry of what garbage was coming down the hall next as it normally does for up to two hours after lights out. We spent the next morning at Lowe's getting curtains for our room without her complaints and picking fights with us and the little kids. It was amazingly easy to shop with just a 3 and 1 year old, really!

Chris had been thinking about a carpet steam cleaner for some time and finally bought one. He got to work right away when we got home to clean Calliope's room and give the carpet time to dry before she came home. The yucky spot from a doggie piddle puddle finally came up (spot treatments only made it spread-yuck), and we thought she'd be glad to have it finally gone. It was amazing what came up out of her carpet. GROSS!!!

Then she came back, and things were sort of fine until it was time to get ready for bed. We ignored complaints about dinner; it's normal, and I think she skipped eating. She did her laundry and had some trouble with the follow through putting her clothes away properly. She spent quite a bit of time arguing and threatening us about what she would do to make us let her watch tv before the work was done, and I didn't respond-Chris was busy with little kids' bath. After all that trouble, she put her clothes away and came out to watch 16 and Pregnant with me on the couch. It was the same routine with taking a shower; arguing, complaining, threats, yelling, and she finally just took care of it.

No new holes in our walls, but the tantrum kept rolling after the shower. She had misplaced her hairbrush (AGAIN!!!!) and knew we had been sneaking around and took it from her, so she came out yelling at us about everything she could think of. She lost her tv after that because we weren't enjoying her company, so she got even more mad. She came out and sat on the couch. I turned off the tv and sat silently. She kept up the bitching and threats. I asked her is she cared to keep the things her grandma bought for her at Michael's. When she behaves badly, she loses things, and I told her that I'd take it all. She wanted to keep them and went to her room. PHEW! The yelling continued, but it was further away.

It's the dumbest thing ever the garbage that she does and says. She gets everything she wants for longer than 24 hours, but it ends up that we never do anything nice for her and never listen and never do what she wants. SO DUMB!

The Asperger's Syndrome I sort of get. Change is tough, so the fun-fun-fun is over, and it's hard to change gears into normal 'get ready for bed on a school night' routine. I totally get to be calm and not fuel anxiety over that change. It's the oppositional defiant disorder that seems to cause the train wreck stuff. She wants to push and push and find anything she can to pick a fight over. She looking for the fight and for more drama. I hate it and don't know what to do to settle her down. I actually try to avoid stuff that would be fun for her because I know what's coming when the fun is over and don't want it.



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  2. HUGS!!!! I have noticed much of the same patterns with the ODD with my C. Even saying her name can get her ranting. Holidays and season changes are triggers too. Keep up the good work, girl.