Fresh Heartbreak

The doctor told us what we already knew, but my heartbreak feels new. Somehow the documents presented showing some skills at the level of a two year old didn't surprise me, but it did renew my fear that my daughter will always need a caretaker. She's aware of her age and that kids drive at 16. She wants to drive, but I can't see any way to put two year old reasoning, processing, tantrums behind the wheel of a car. Her life is going to be so difficult and so limited. I can only hope she finds happiness.

Doctor IEP

The doctor told us what we already knew, and it took almost three hours. Eleven people in the room to hear what we have known for at least 3.5 years. This is how our public schools work to deny a child the education they deserve.

End of Soccer Season

The little kids love their soccer. Big Sissy doesn't handle it as well. I'm sure she enjoys the quiet house while we are all gone but must feel left out. Little girls will be starting whatever dance class that can handle both ages, but Calliope keeps saying she doesn't want to do an activity. Karate, dancing, free running, art; she doesn't want to do anything. Our Saturdays are our own now, and I want to find some family activity for us to fill our weekends.

Success at the Drive-In Movies

We have tried it once before, probably last year, so I wasn't sure we could go and see both PG movies the drive-in was showing. Last time there was lots of yelling, shoving, pushing and a very high level of agitation over having to share space and having siblings and parents touch things. Calliope got her pillow and blanket, knew we could wash everything after, and she shared the folded down back of the minivan with Cooper and Clio! I was amazed at how quiet it was. Aside from Calliope talking through the movie and shushing others, it was quiet. It doesn't sound quiet as I've described it, but there was no yelling, name calling or cursing. Wow. Claire was all over the place, but that's her two year old thing.

Mean Girls and the Shit Storm

The Heather with the red scrunchy had been out of my thoughts for some time, maybe a couple years until last night. She had actively campaigned against me participating in the special needs forum of the website she commands. I was prevented from talking with moms in the know about IEPs and the school system lingo and processes because my child didn't fit her stereotype of autistic. Our family won't give up on a child and have worked through all challenges thrown at us and continue to work. Because I have so much to do every day, I can't waste my time on an influence that is so draining of my energy and emotion, so I don't do it.
But last night, I did. I read a news story about a motorcycle accident. I worry about an old neighbor because he rides, but it wasn't him. It was the husband of The Heather.
My heart and head were flooded with competing thoughts and strong feelings. I'm so sorry this man was hurt and hope he recovers and is able to see the hit and run driver go to prison. My husband doesn't ride a motorcycle or participate in activities likely to kill him, and that's a decision I am so happy with.
Although I have forgiven The Heather for what has past, I don't want to be involved in the SAVE THE HEATHER campaign. I wish them the best but cannot invest myself into that negative energy. Her minions have been whipped into a frenzy and have been attacking me personally; calling me names, belittling my sick child, accusing me of celebrating the accident.
The Internet troll became an Internet bully, and has targeted me and my family. Going out of your way to be mean to me can't be helpful to The Heather. Let me be.